Newsreader Misses Breakfast

This morning
Police arrested a man
For the armed robbery of a North Hampshire Post Office.
The man threatened the cashier with a trifle.
I’m sorry, for some reason I have food on my mind.

Yesterday evening
The Prime Minister, Tony Éclair
Congratulated pensioner, Doris Smith
on reaching her 112th birthday cake.
I’m sorry, for some raisin I have food on my mind.

Custard officials
Have recently been criticised
For not chicken passports
And boarding parsnips incorrectly.
Spokesman for British Airways says
‘Pear mustard be taken‘.
I’m sausage, for some raisin I have food on my mind.

News breadlines tonight:
research has scone that baking sure
You leave lemon and lime
To eat breakfast in the morning
Is a better way to tart the day.
I’m sausage
For semolina raisin I have cruton orange rind
Suet would pea a good madeira
If I doughnut satay much longer.